I NEED TO RUN AWAY :(

Sometimes we really need to run away
Run away from everything that is around us
Run away from all our belongings
From all our feelings and all our memories
From all our defeats and our controversies
From all our pain and our ABCs
Run away from all our beloved ones

We need to run away to a world that doesn’t know us
To a world that doesn’t belong to us and has no relation
What so ever to us
A very far way world … deserted and alone
A world were everything in it doesn’t tie us with our reality
A world that doesn’t takes us back to our past
A world that its paths don’t know us
And its walls doesn’t suffocate us
Its places can’t penetrate our memories

A world for our own only
A world where we can make our all new memory
A world where we can in live within its paths with a new heart
A new mind and new feelings
A world capable of deleting our painful feelings
A world capable of sending us back to the real world with new feelings
all free from feeling lost ,and free from all sorrows and pains


Yeah I do need to run away to a world where no one belongs to
“ BUT ME “

this is how i am feeling lately and these are the screams that my heart and mind are trying to say ....
and this is what my soul begs for :(

The hard lesson

hi everyone ... last night as i opened my email to check on my mail i found a very strange email ... it made me burts into tears of joy ( for the first time in more than two months ) ...
it was from an old friend who was in OZ with me ... i felt so happy especialy when i knew that after three years he still remmebers me and as the matter of fact he was so thrilled that he found me ...
his name is Fahed Alfahood :)

it is so nice when someone remembers you after so many years ... this is called loyalty ... people who ask about us from time are true people ... they are not fake and they do not take advantage of us ... they look for us and are not afraid to send asking about us ... not fearing that we might reject them ... these are true people

after that email i decided that a new life is waiting for me ... and i came to this conclusion and this decision that inside our poor minds we always think  and we always try to convince ourselves that we are important to someone in our life .... but there comes a time when all our dreams are chattered by the fact that this was only a BIG LIE ... and our expectations are not as we thought ....

what hurts me the most is that in the past he took all my attention and i worried for him and i missed him so much ....
but now what makes me feel proud of myself is that i dont feel towards him the same way .... he is history .. and i know that for sure that one day what he did to me will be done to him ...

 those who love me sincerly are those who deserve my love in return ...and those who only took my love as temporarly are of no importance to me and they do not deserve to be in my life anymore ...
i simply dont care anymore ...about those who were everything in my life and i was only just a passing by traveller ....

BUT I WILL CARE FOR AND CHERISH ...all those who were as close to me as my soul ... who stood by me in my darkest days and deepest pains ... and i will be greatful for all those who warmed my life and eased my suffering even if it was with just  a smile ... who wiped the tears from my eyes ... and those who guided me when i was burning , wondering and my heart was about to explode  ...

what i have past through is not only a simple shock ... it was a  huge disaster .... but this huge disaster becomes much smaller when i realize that I HAVE LEARNED A HARD LESSON in my life ....

and those who hurt us will learn their lesson oneday .....

thank you fahad alfahood for opening my eyes on life again ... its nice to have you back in my life again ....